Today i recieved information, that my project on writing about philosophical background of absurdity in modern theatre has been accepted and from now on im beginning a 4 year study, finishing with a Ph.D. exam. Every victory is a failure, and every failure is a victory, so im hopelessly happy, sadly satisfied. I cannot say im back in the right track, cause there are no right or wrong tracks, just more and less frequently used ways. I cannot say i achieved something, cause im at the very beginning of a possible achievement, which is just another step, to another possible achievement, and so on, and so on, right to the only certainty in our existence. I just hope, one day, ill gather enough knowledge to answer, or at least understand, one of the the most fundamental questions of humanity, asked by thousands of thousnands everyday:

Who am I?

If there is light only at the end of the tunnel, how the fuck everybody knows, its a tunnel?


If time and space are the most fundamental dimensions of our universe, why can i buy 20 square metrers of land, but i cant buy 20 minutes of life?

Why men have nipples?

Who invented the invention?

Why everybody wonders, whether the egg or the hen was first, and nobody gives a shit about the rooster?

Not many submissions lately, due to the fact, that ikea made the wooden guy more expensive, and i cant afford it at the moment. Im scared of even thinking of photographing a human being though, cause my friend from Bora Bora explained me profoundly, how the soul is captured and condemned to torment on the process of taking a picture. The serious reason for not photographing lately though, is that i dont feel an urge to do it. Days pass through my hands like sand, or water, or something slimy. to capture something essential by an artist, who I undoubtedly am one must feel something more than the incessant flow of time. something sparkling, shining in the never ceasing solitude and despair of humanity, based on the urge to see the vital, senseful part of life. I do not see it lately, because somebody turned off the light. Maybe I forgot to pay the bill, maybe the bill has forgotten to be paid. This way or the other, im in this wonderful moment of my life, when creation seems contradictory to observation of reality, where nothing really is created, rather everything roams in a dumb circle of days and nights. The meter on deviantart shows, that there are millions of new deviations, and every second a new deviation is born. My feeling of individuality is hampered by this meter, mu obssesion for seeking something unique is stopped by observation of an avalanche of bright ideas, thoughts, concepts. Perhaps, the time has come to such a spot, when only silence remains the only way of artistic expression, not shared with hundreds of other individuals?

Ive decided, that i shall make my journal entries more easy to remeber by heart*,
so i will rhyme them.

I have been silent lately
cause i didnt have too much time
cause i am working
as hard as a lime

i am a teacher
in a high, high school
my pupils hate me
and i think its cool

but in close future
as close as the sun
i will come back
and with my photos stun

the zebra is hungry
the rose is red
time came to finish
and go to bed**






*its for people, who think, my journal entries are important. you never know, what is important, so perhaps remembering my journal entries will influence the culture in 20000 years. think what would have happened if nobody gave a shit about Kallevala or Homer's work.

**if u happen to know a worse poem, contact me, or write it beneath.
the worst poem in this thread will be prized with the "Dead cat award"***

***the ceremony of recieving the "dead cat award" will take place, as soon as snow melts, and we will have a possibility to find the material for the trophy

And im preparing a nee series of pictures. some of them will be black, others will be white, so summing up, my future biographer* will call it the black&white or "Zebra" period. I have gatherered a desired amoint of darkness and light, the good and the evil in my drawer, so expect new, thrilling episodes of my so called "art"!

<free advertisement> Im still looking for some artifacts, which would allow me to work more effectively. If you happen to have a spare diamond, a headless manequin, 40 wooden figures or a portable windmill, give me a call**


*yes, it happenes sometimes, that a completely unknown, forgotten and apparently unimportant person becomes the hero of a book, if you dont believe me, read "Lust for life"

** to communicate with me, just draw a zebra somewhere and wait. If i dont come in 100 years, i propably died trying to reach you, or i had better things to do, my apologies.

Im in France with a visit to my beloved If anyone wants something, like i dont know...something, one should follow a special procedure in order to communicate properly with me:
Im not Yossarian for the time being, im le Yossariane.
Begin every sentence, word, phrase, book, letter, haiku to me with word "Bonjour" i dont know what it means, but people here seem to like it.
Drink a lot of red wine. I dont remember how to speak to people, who arent after a glass or two.
Ill put a lot of photos when i get back to Poland in November. Greetings to you all!